DIY
by J.W.Melmoth
Summary: One of the little bumps in the road for Kadam on their way to understanding each other better. Warning: talk of (and implied) masturbation.


"Mmm...I thought you'd never come to bed," Adam mumbles sleepily when Kurt slides under the covers in his underwear.

"I know, I'm sorry," Kurt sighs. "I just really wanted to finish my musical theory homework. With my shift at the diner I'm not gonna have time tomorrow and-"

"It's fine. You're here now," Adam reassures him, and moves over to Kurt's side of the bed to spoon against him. He trails his fingers down Kurt's hip. "How about a little reward for being such a good boy?" he asks playfully, lightly nudging Kurt's buttocks with his crotch. It doesn't take much for him to become aroused, and Kurt's snug boxerbriefs do him in every time. Adam kind of expects Kurt to elbow him in the ribs and tell him not to be so patronising (or possibly indulge in his little roleplay and do the bashful schoolboy thing that he knows turns Adam on so much). Unfortunately, Kurt does neither of these things.

"I'm really tired," he says softly. "I wouldn't be any good." All the same, he doesn't shift away or remove Adam's hand. It feels like he is leaving it open for interpretation. Adam squeezes his side softly and kisses his neck before moving away.

"It's okay," he says gently, and then hesitates. "Can I... is it okay if I stay here or do you want me to go into the bathroom?"

The sheets rustle and in the half-dark, Adam sees Kurt has turned around to look at him. "Kurt?"

"Bathroom, please," Kurt says, and Adam feels like he has just overstepped a major boundary. Maybe suggesting to stay in bed while he masturbated was a bad idea. Kurt isn't big on sharing bathroom time either, always sending Adam out when he wants to shower or use the toilet. Or maybe he just doesn't like Adam messing up the freshly made bed. Filing it under 'little Kurt quirks' for future reference, Adam gets up to take care of his business in the bathroom. They have been together long enough for Adam to be able to choose from a wide array of realistic wank-fantasies featuring his boyfriend- it shouldn't take long, and then he can come back to his warm bed and loving partner. Kurt has never said no to cuddling, not even when bone-tired (pun possibly intended) so in all it would be a good night anyway.

When he comes back, Kurt is curled up in his blanket, breathing evenly. Adam smiles and gets in on his side, the mattress dipping a little as he does. He shifts to Kurt's side again and burrows his arm under the pillows until he can reach under Kurt's head, pulling him against his chest to enjoy the afterglow with Kurt in his arms.

* * *

A few days later, Adam comes home from his job-hunting earlier than he expected and finds Kurt in the bathroom, the shower running. At first, he thinks Kurt is singing. Then, as he comes closer, he realises it's a different kind of rhythm - one that is increasingly fast and rising in pitch. He grins. He knows that sound.

"Having fun in there?" he calls out cheerfully as he walks on his way to the bedroom to change out of his job interview clothes.

Kurt shrieks and then becomes really, really quiet. The only sound Adam can still hear is the rush of the water.

"It's just me, Kurt. Take your time," Adam says with a smile, pulling off his tie. He wishes he could jump into the shower with him and take the place of whatever Kurt is using; fingers, toys... but he remembers the way Kurt reacted to his suggestion the other night and knows this is something Kurt apparently prefers to do in private.

The shower stops. For a moment, Adam still hopes that Kurt is going to ask him in, and he holds out changing into his comfortable clothes just in case, hanging up his dress pants and his underwear and throwing his shirt in the laundry basket. But several minutes pass without a sound, an invitation not forthcoming, and Adam slips into his jeans with resignation. Finally, the door opens and Kurt, dressed in a bathrobe and with a towel around his head, steps out, looking everywhere but at Adam. His cheeks are bright red. Adam suddenly realises it's not the healthy glow of a good orgasm but the uncomfortable heat of shame. Apparently, his interruption has thrown him off.

"Are you okay?" Adam asks carefully. To lighten the atmosphere, he jokingly adds: "I guess you were thinking about Captain America and I totally killed your mood, huh?"

"I _wasn't_," Kurt says defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. Then he says nothing for a long while. "I'm sorry," he finally offers.

"I don't mind, honestly," Adam assures Kurt. "I'm quite fond of him, myself."

"That's not what I mean."

Adam frowns, then catches up. "Oh! For this?" He gestures at the bathroom. "Oh, no, that's fine, Kurt. It's... I'm not your dad or anything. It's _your_ bathroom. You can do whatever you want in it."

Kurt nods but remains silent. "I didn't know you were going to come home early, or I wouldn't have-" he offers after a moment. "I mean, I would have _waited_."

Adam presses his lips together in a smile from ear to ear. Sometimes Kurt says these adorable things that take him completely by surprise. "That's good to know." He pulls a fresh tshirt over his head and leans over to kiss Kurt's cheek. "I'm making tea. Do you want some?" He starts towards the kitchen but turns back when Kurt is still standing in the same place, looking a little awkward. "Kurt?"

"Um. Yes. Yeah, I do," Kurt replies, shaking his head a little as if to clear it from some worrisome thoughts. Adam hopes he isn't too angry with him for interrupting his private time, and he makes up his mind to text Kurt the next time one of his job interviews is over sooner.

* * *

That evening, when they are cuddled on the couch watching tv, Kurt subtly inches his hand up Adam's thigh and turns his head into Adam's neckline, kissing the skin just above his tshirt. But Adam is preoccupied by a phonecall from home, and their program- a lifetime movie about a woman struggling with addication- isn't exactly a turn-on either. "Why don't you finish what you started earlier, Kurt?" he suggests gently. "We can always watch the rest of this later."

Kurt's hand still for a moment, and then picks up its massage again. "Will you join me, then?" Kurt whispers against Adam's skin.

Adam is pleasantly surprised by the offer, but shakes his head. "Not tonight. I have a bit too much on my mind. I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt says quietly, and removes his hand. He sits up and draws up his legs under him on the couch.

Adam cocks his head and looks at him. "Don't you want to-?"

"No, I'm good," Kurt says. "It was just an idea." Then he unfolds his legs and gets up anyway. "I'm going to make popcorn," he announces, and gets up to go to the kitchen.

* * *

A few days later, Adam is at his laptop when Kurt gets home. Kurt walks up behind him and loops his arms around Adam's shoulders, leaning in to kiss his cheek- when he freezes.

"What' are you doing?" he asks sharply, his hands falling away from Adam's arms.

"Oh, just checking out the competish'," Adam replies, scrolling down a little. The naked man in the picture moves up until only his crotch is visible on screen.

"_What_?" Kurt lets out, and his tone makes Adam tear his eyes away from the screen to turn around and face him. Kurt has put distance between them, both in feet and body language.

"For the play," Adam explains, not sure why Kurt is looking so upset. "I told you about my audition, right? I just heard that this guy Jonathan is up against me- we're the final two being considered, and I thought I'd stalk him a little online to look at his resumé. Turns out he's done tons of Shakespeare. But, uh, somehow, " he adds, shrugging at the screen, "those were mainly parts for which he needed to take his clothes off."

Kurt looks at him for a moment. Then he steps a bit closer to peer at the website address. It's a perfectly respectable theatre critic page. "Well, he has the ...parts for those parts," he comments.

Adam chuckles. "I know. I'm a little intimidated, actually. But I don't think they'll have us strip at the callback. It's not _that_ kind of audition."

"Right," Kurt mumbles. His eyes dart from one object on the table to another, never once looking at Adam.

Adam frowns, looking over his shoulder to see what Kurt is looking at and.._.oh_.

"Did you think I was looking at him?" he asks. "I mean as in..._looking _at him?"

Kurt shrugs. "It would make sense," he offers.

"What do you mean?" Adam asks.

Kurt chews his lip for a moment. "You...caught me getting off to a fantasy. I'd deserve it if you did the same."

"I don't need a fantasy, Kurt. I have you, don't I?" Adam replies.

Kurt shrugs awkwardly. "Of course, but..."

Adam shakes his head. "You did nothing wrong, Kurt. I think it's a lot healthier to give in to your needs than to repress them. And there are always going to days when one of us isn't there or just isn't feeling up to it-" For some reason, this makes Kurt look even more awkward. "What is it?" Adam asks. "Is this about the other night?"

Kurt nods again. "It felt like...I was being a bad boyfriend."

"You were tired. I didn't want to bother you." Adam paused. "You don't owe me sex because we are a couple, Kurt. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," Kurt says half-heartedly.

"You _don't_," Adam stresses again, inwardly cursing whoever it was who put these ideas in Kurt's head. He suspects Kurt's ex-boyfriend had a lot to do with it. "And there is no need to be ashamed of masturbating, either. I'd much rather find you in the shower by yourself than in bed with another man."

Kurt chokes out a painful laugh and Adam realises he has hit a sore point. "Hey. Listen. We're okay, right?" he says. "Are you having second thoughts?"

Kurt shakes his head vigorously. "I'm not," he says firmly. Then he pauses.

"But...? Adam prompts.

"But...it just feels like.." Kurt draws out slowly, "...if everything was _really_ okay between us, we wouldn't have to...resort to masturbation to get off. I mean, shouldn't we just...want each other all the time?" He crosses his arms over his chest and looks really uncomfortable.

"That's putting it a bit simple, don't you think?" Adam asks gently. "I mean, I want you. I do. And in an ideal world where there's no school and no jobs, and no nans in hospital, and no one ever gets tired, and we both have magical recuperation powers-" he enumerates, waggling his eyebrows at Kurt a little, trying to get him to smile, "I'd be having sex with you twenty-four seven. Twenty-_five_ seven. I'd invent a time machine only to go back to yesterday and have sex with you _again_ every second day."

The corners of Kurt's mouth twitch. "Only ever _second_ day?" he asks.

Adam chuckles. "Alright. Every day. But in the real world," he continues, "there are bound to be some distractions some times. That doesn't mean we're on the rocks. It just means we are individuals with individual needs." He sits up. "I am giving you my full permission to think of Captain America whenever the need takes you and you find me unavailable."

Kurt swats his arm. "Shut up. I don't like him _that_ much."

"You say that _now._ Wait until you see my Halloween costume," Adam teases. He pauses, trying to judge Kurt's level of discomfort. "It's actually...pretty hot, you know," he tries carefully.

Kurt looks up. "What is?"

"You. Touching yourself. I could hear you, but I had to imagine what you were doing. If you hadn't stopped, I might have come just from listening to you."

Kurt blushes deeply again, but this time, he is smiling a little too. "I don't think I'm ready to...tell you what I was doing," he says shyly.

"That's okay," Adam replies. "I'm just going to have to try and get you to reproduce those sounds in bed with me."

Kurt chuckles. "Very smooth," he says, already looking a lot less uncomfortable.

"Thanks. I thought so," Adam says and his eyes twinkle a little. "Okay?" His boyfriend nods. Adam gets up and kisses him. Then Kurt pulls away a little.

"Adam?"

"Hmm?"

"So what do you want _me_ to dress up as for Halloween?"

"How about something Shakespearian?"


End file.
